boB Jobs

 

Oh where, oh where / Has my little boB gone? /

Oh where, oh where can he be? / With his ears cut short /

And his tail cut long / Oh where, oh where can he be?/

 

Looking around… Oh you’re back…. Good to see you all again. Most of you must be wondering just what our friend boB has been up to these last couple of months. Some of you may even have heard of his antics although he was mostly in disguise and no, he doesn’t do Rob Ford impressions but once got mistaken for Mrs. Beasley-sans eyeglasses in his blond god days…

 

Well it all began at the celebration of the Ides of March…boB was doing fine until his little mix-up at the first full moon of the year when he thought that the Flamen Dialis had something to do with a new procedure to cleanse bodily fluids and not, alas, leading a sheep impressionist (boB) along the Via Sacra to the citadel, to be sacrificed. … THAT was his first mistake and ... first job…

 

In addition to the monthly sacrifice, the Ides of March was also the occasion of the Feast of Anna Perenna, a goddess whose festival originally concluded the ceremonies of the new year (March 15th). The day was enthusiastically celebrated among the common people with picnics, drinking, and revelry and boB was having a great time.

 

His second job and well it went downhill after he found out that it also included beating an old man dressed in animal skins while driving him from the city. Three guesses who had been chosen to play the ‘old man’?

 

His third job of the year didn’t get him the riches he had expected either. Poor boB… At the end of the rainbow should have sat a pile o’gold but instead he was met by a, big, burly, and somewhat annoyed Easter Bunny demanding he return his fluffy tale and buck teeth which boB had been going to trade the Lepracaun for that elusive rainbow and accompanying wealth and wisdom…

 

Story of a boB’s life…. Next job he’s hoping to get is on Flag Day, June 14th when he plans to represent the Principality of Sealand. He is confident he will get the job since like Sealand, boB is also an unrecognised entity!

 

Since 1967 the facility, located on the old Second World War Maunsell Sea Fort in the North Sea 13 kilometres off the coast of Suffolk, England, has been occupied by family and associates of Paddy Roy Bates, who claim that it is an independent sovereign state.

 

Now is that not just a boB-thing to do?